Tag Archives: humor

I Call it “Toddler Chic”

This is my living room… early in the day.

Give her an hour or two¬†and it gets redecorated in what I like to call “Toddler Chic.”

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Oh the joys of parenthood. ūüôā

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No Wonder My Health Insurance is SO Expensive

I got a refund check in the mail from my idiotic¬† wonderful (please note the “wonderful” is¬†completely¬†drenched in sarcasm)¬†health insurance company today. I’m not sure why I¬†received this refund… especially, when the check stub says “Refund Explanation: 02 Insufficient Payment.”

Umm… okay.

So, I’m sure you are dying to know how much my new fortune is.

You might want to sit down for this.

Twenty Seven CENTS.

You heard me right.

I know, it’s so ridiculous, I’ll say it again…

TWENTY SEVEN CENTS.

If you don’t believe me here’s a picture…

Yep.. a check for 27 cents.

The postage to mail this check was 36 cents. I bet the paper and window envelope, the ink to print it, and whatever salary they paid the person who iI assume handled it at some point… cost MORE than 27 cents.¬†

 
Let us also take a moment to remember the tree that gave it’s life for this 27 cent check. What happened to going green?
 
Seriously people, ¬†couldn’t you just deduct it from my premium? My already incredibly exorbitant premiums that you are RAISING by $87 a month in July.
 
I would not have minded only paying $83.73 extra.
 
 

The Tale of the Marker Mishap

Since my last post was kind of heavy… I thought I’d post something a little lighter. I give to you…

the Tale of the Marker Mishap

My dear, sweet Toddler had a¬†run in¬†with a marker. First-¬†NOT MY FAULT! Hubby was packing and not paying attention to her going through his tool bag, where she found the marker.¬† I was in the kitchen and I heard him sort of yell.. I knew she did something not good.¬† I asked what happened… and¬† I heard-

“She got a sharpie.”¬†

Instantly, my brain went to all of the pictures that I see on shitmykidsruined.com – permanent marker everywhere… This is what I found:

What you can’t¬†see is that it’s on her face, and even on the bottom of her foot. I was freaking out how I could get it off of her. We headed up for a bath.

I tried to get some of it off with nail polish remover.  It seemed like it was coming off too easy. I used a wet washcloth on her face and the ink just came off.

Luckily, it wasnt a sharpie!

What was it?

A Brown Mr. Sketch Cinnamon scented marker.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I laughed for about an hour! My big burly tattooed hard-working husband has been carrying around a smelly marker in his tool bag.

Hilarious.

Have a great weekend!

ūüôā

 

Out of the mouths of babes..

A few things my little one has said lately that have made me laugh hysterically…

Mama, can I have more garbage bread?”

Translation:¬† “Mama, can I have more GARLIC bread?”

“I want my med-sin dolls.”

Translation: “I want my NESTING dolls.”

“Mama you the best nay-dill kipper ever!”

Translation: “Mama, you the best NAIL CLIPPER ever!”

“Mama, I have wish-ous noodles in my noodle bag.”

Translation:¬† “I have delicious¬†M&M’s in this bag of M&M’s.”¬†¬†¬† She calls M&M’s or Skittles¬† “Noodles”.

“I want some juice knucklehead.”

Translation: Her father has said knucklehead in front of her one too many times.

Happy Thursday!

Superbowl XLV: Packers -vs- Steelers or in my world: Husband -vs- Wife

It was a big football day in our house.

My beloved Pittsburgh Steelers and my husband’s equally as beloved Green Bay Packers were in the AFC and NFC championship games respectively.

My husabnd and I have¬†been together for 9 years. In all of that time nothing like this has even come close to happening. The six-time Super Bowl Champion Steelers have won the big game twice in the last 5 years and the Packers… Well…Uh… Have not.

We talk about it happening at the beginning of every season- the dream Packers and Steelers Super Bowl.

Last season, when the Steelers¬†played the Packers there was a lot of trash talking surrounding the game. ¬†Oh wait.. But who won? Let me try to remember… the Steelers.

Let me just say for the record-¬†when we are not playing against each other, I root for his team. He, on the other hand, ¬†does not reciprocate. If I didn’t already bleed black and gold (I was born and raised in Pittburgh after all), and was in need of a team I could be a Cheesehead.

I rooted for the Pack in the NFC Championship game. Honestly,  I think it is awesome that they won.

So here we are…

the Packers vs the Steelers Superbowl is officially our reality.

About 30 seconds after the game ended, the gauntlet was thrown by my hubby.

It’s going to be an interesting couple of weeks around here. I foresee¬†lots of smack talk, mud-slinging and the kids will probably have to¬†pick a side. Yes, I’m sure even our two year old will have to choose.

We found out last week that hubby will be out-of-town for the big game. Which is probably a good thing. It could get ugly. But the odds of both of our teams making it to the big game together¬†happening again are probably slim, and I’d like to enjoy it together.

But then again… This way I don’t have to see him cry WHEN the Packers lose.

Go Steelers!

The Craziest News Ever.

So, I have another blog.

It’s about poop.

Seriously. It’s about poop.

I have a 2-year-old, I couldn’t help it. I was inspired one day by a gigantic mess and Pooptastrophe was born.

I havent posted nearly as much as I do on here… we’ve actually kind of been having a dry spell with any good poop stories.

The latest post is about my crazy news.

Check it out here!

My darling toddler’s poop is going to live forever in the pages of a real live book!¬†I submitted a picture to the website shitmykidsruined.com and it was picked to be in their new book! It comes out November 23rd! You can pre-order it on Amazon.com.

I can’t stop laughing. It’s so hilarious. It really made my day!

And I pre-ordered 2 copies already! One for me, one for my darling daughter so she can one day tell her kids that her poop was famous!

Have a great weekend!