Tag Archives: Children

1 year, 1 month, 23 days….

After 1 year, 1 month and 23 days… that woman who gave birth to the Teen finally crawled out from under her rock last night.

She sent me a Facebook message.

It was completely self-centered, and poorly spelled. (I hate it when people type messages like that in text short hand.. You= U, and = N, am = M etc… seriously, how much longer could it really take you to spell everything out?)

She claims to “miss her very much.”

and

“wants to start writing her very soon.”

I don’t buy it.  I think she had a momentary pang of guilt.

Oh, and I almost forgot my personal favorite:

“I hope she is not facing some of the things I have had to face in my teen years.”

Well, if you were abandoned by your mother .. then yes, she’s going through that.  Otherwise, I doubt it.

Give me a break.

I am going to tell her about herself this time. I’m done being nice, I’m done just letting her keep hurting her.  If she wants to truly make an effort, then it will be up to the Teen to agree to it. But there will be clear expectations put on her.  And with the baby due in a few weeks, I have a hard time believing that she’s going to pull it off. 

But before I do anything, I’m going to talk to the Teen about it. See what she wants me to do. Maybe she wants to tell her off herself.  My dear hubby didn’t really have anything to say about it when I read him the message.  He’s so helpful sometimes. 😉

Well.. wish me luck. I’m going to talk to her after school..and in the mean time I’m going to work on composing my thoughts on the matter.

And make soup. It’s definitely a soup kind of day.

 

Did she just call my 3-year-old a bully?

As most of you know, if you read this ramblings from my brain on any sort of regular basis, my dear Maniac is three and a half.

She’s bigger than all the other three-year-olds in our play group  in the world! She is off the charts for her age. And people tend to forget that despite the fact that she is the size of the average 5-year-old, she’s only three.

She can get a little aggressive when she’s playing with other kids, she has pushed and hit, taken toys away, and one time she even bit one of her little friends.

She doesn’t mean any harm. She’s not doing it to be mean or just to pick on the littler kids. She’s just three. She doesn’t have other kids to play with during the day.. she just has me. She’s still learning the ropes of playing and interacting with her peers.

That being said… the person who I thought was my closest friend here, had been acting really strange for the last month or so- basically just not talking to me unless she had to.  I finally had the opportunity to confront her about it on Tuesday. Her reasoning for just not talking to me:

“The Maniac is a bully, and you don’t do enough to stop her.”

Wow.  Ouch.

My first reaction was that I know she can be rough.. but I’m working on it.

After thinking about it for a few days, I’ve come to the realization that it’s not fair to brand her a “”BULLY”. That’s a really strong word.  That makes you think of intimidation and malicious intent, preying on the weak.  

She’s just a little girl who is trying to figure stuff out.  Like I said, she doesn’t have other kids to play and fight with all day.. she just has me and (when she’s not in school) the Teen.  She has to learn somehow. So she gets mad and hits someone. or bites them (which I’m pretty sure is where this whole thing started.) or takes a toy away… whatever…  It could happen to any kid by any kid. That doesn’t make her “the Bully.”

As for the “You don’t do enough to stop it” I’ve been thinking a lot about that too.  I definitely feel like she is attacking my parenting. Theres a really fine line between being helpful and being a judgmental jerk. I would never judge her parenting decisions. You have to do what you have to do.  And truth be told, I have witnessed  a couple of things that I would never do, but I would never call her out on… unless of course the kids were truly in danger.

Yes, my husband kindly pointed out a week or two ago that maybe I give the Maniac too many chances to get her to stop doing stuff. I’ve been working on that. And I have instituted an absolute no hitting policy. You hit/bite = time out. No exceptions.  We’ve also been talking about what it means to do nice things and mean things, as well as what to do when you feel angry that doesn’t involve touching other people.  It’s going to take some time… but I know she’ll  get it.

She has actually been quite good on the last two playdates we were on. So there 😛 .

Maybe I didn’t reprimand her to her liking because I was with a bunch of women that I don’t know very well. Come on, you know as well I as do that you don’t yell at the kids like you normally would in front of strangers or people you aren’t 100% comfortable with… mostly because you don’t want them judging you, or thinking you are a horrible parent.

Be realistic- if you have ever been to a playgroup… all the:

“Come on honey, we don’t _____________” in the sweetest tone ever…

You know they most likely don’t talk to the kids at home. You know there’s some yelling going on there… maybe I’m wrong… but in my experience… when there are kids they eventually make you yell no matter how hard you try not to.

Anyway- that’s what I’ve been dealing with this week. Now I have to decide whether I need to just let it go, or say something to her about the unfairness of labeling her a Bully.  I will probably just let it go… it’s not worth the energy to worry about it… she’s going to think what she wants anyway no matter what I say.

I just have to show her that she’s anything but a bully.

 

 

What a Wednesday.

So here are the highlights of my Wednesday:

-I actually managed to get up and go to the gym. My trainer made me do far more lunges than I’d care to- which would naturally be 0 and she made me do like 1,000,000. Okay, maybe not.. but it was still a lot.

-By 10:30am, the Maniac was on her 3rd pair of underwear. Pair #1 was soiled with some #2 and pair #2 was drenched in #1 right in front of the toilet. Awesomely frustrating.

-While picking her up to put her in time-out for throwing something at me, the Maniac bit me really hard in the shoulder. There’s still a mark.

-While in the kitchen getting her something to eat, she got a fork out of the drawer and proceeded to stab me in the butt with it.

-Around 1:30 I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I tried to convince her to take a nap, but of course she was far too busy to sleep. I dozed off a couple of times and was rudely awakened by being poked in the eye, and then jumped on.

-She finally decided that she did want to sleep at  6:30pm. I only let her sleep until about 7:15 since I wanted to sleep before midnight. (Not that I actually ot to sleep before midnight… but it wasnt because of her.)

-I had what I think to be a pretty good talk with the Teen. Hopefully she actually heard what I had to say.

-I did get to watch America’s Next Top Model All Stars and CSI uninterrupted. Which was quite wonderful and refreshing.

And then I went to bed far too late and didn’t get up for this gym this morning.

Wishing you a Thursday that does not include a fork in the butt! hahaha! 😀

 

Procrastina-Teen.

Here we go… School is in full swing so is the procrastination.

The Teen has had a few pretty good bouts with the procrastination already in the last couple years. The first time was a research paper that she had to do in 5th grade (why in the world they had 5th graders doing research papers still baffles me to this day). She had a month to do it, and she told me about the assignment about two weeks into the assignment. Those were two very long weeks… But somehow she managed to get 100% on the silly thing.

Last year she had a couple of book reports to do. She did okay on the first one…except for the part where she just scrawled down some stuff and was just going to turn it in as is until I reminded her that it was for ELA (which back in the day was just known as “English” and not “English language Arts.”) , and there should probably be some drafts and editing involved. She was mad, but thankful when she got an A on it. The second one she gave herself a week to do, but spent three days working on drafts for the pictures she was going to put in it instead of working on the content. Again, she lucked out and got a good grade.

I decided that this year I was going to let her learn the hard way. You snooze you lose. I think we’ve all had to learn this lesson that way. I know I have… for me it was a big fat D on a huge research project in 11th grade honors English that I waited until the last minute to do.

I got an email on September 1st from  the Teen’s science teacher letting me know she has two “major” projects due soon. The first one I knew about.. But the “proposal for a science fair project” I knew nothing about. Sounds like something that involves some thought and planning doesn’t it?

Every day since I got the email I asked “is that all the homework you have?”
Every day “yep. Just algebra.”
Okie dokie. If you say so.

This proposal was due  9/9.  So on the 8th when she got home I asked the same question… “Is that all the homework you have?”

“No, I have science too.”

Fancy that.

Then I got the “I forgot about it.” 

Then I read the assignment. She has to come up with a proposal for a science fair project that will have to be completed, and will end up being 25% of her science grade.  For the proposal, she had to have a question that her experiment would answer, 7 references she would use for her project, a budget and explain the purpose of the experiment. Sounds like I was right in thinking this was something that needed more than a few hours to do.

Then she says, “I’ve been thinking about what I want to do all day since the teacher reminded me.”

All day= since after lunch.

The only things she could come up with were:

1. Getting 3 plants. Watering 1 plant with water, Another plant with sugar-water and the other with artificial sweetener water.

2. Getting 4 plants. Watering 1 with water, one with soda, one with juice and one with something else.

3. Researching methods of dog training, and using 3 different methods, teaching the dog 3 different tricks of equal difficulty.

She opted for the dog training.  Which is something that she definitely can’t procrastinate when it comes to actually doing the project.. since it’s not something you can do the night before.  I thought it was pretty clear that the proposal was not well thought out, and it was obviously done at the last-minute. Her references were three websites she Googled,  2 documentaries she found of Netflix, some random book she has with something about dog training in it… and she supposedly went to the library that morning to look up a seventh one. 

Anyway… there was much talk about procrastinating. I told her straight up that I wasnt going to say a word about the assignment and I was going to let her go to school without doing it just to learn the lesson. 

 She swore she isn’t going to do it anymore.

Then came the essay she had to do last weekend. She wanted to get it done friday night… then we ate dinner.. then she sat on her butt all day saturday. Finally she decided to finish it on Sunday… not even knowing if we had any plans. She just assumed that she’d have all day to finish it.  Sheesh.

Next up… a book report for ELA…she has six of them due by the end of the year.  She’s known about this since  the first week of school. I’m pretty sure she’s read the book. I heard her tell my sister that she finished whatever it is. But here we are.. its due on Friday and she hasn’t started it. One would think that after all lectures and talks about putting things off.. that she’d think to start the silly thing.

So, here is the thing that totally frustrates, irritates, and just pisses me off.

I checked her science grades on-line yesterday afternoon.

That teacher gave her 100% on the proposal.

SERIOUSLY!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?

How is she going to learn the lesson I want her to learn, when she keeps getting great grades when she turns in less than great work?

This is supposed to be Honors Science. You’d think she’d expect more than something clearly thrown together at the last-minute. Grrrrr. Part of me wants to email her teacher and say WTH? Was it not clear that it didn’t have any thought behind it? Or was it just that she turned it in?

 Maybe her ELA teacher will be less forgiving when she scribbles something down at the last-minute.

I’ll just have to keep my fingers crossed.

Why do people have to be rude? It’s just Facebook!

Seriously people. It’s just Facebook.

Why do you have to be so freaking rude?

When I post stuff, It’s usually to be funny… to share something hilarious that the Maniac said or the Teen did. It’s hardly ever serious, and it’s all done in the spirit of fun.

I do post things about both of my lovely daughters. But I will admit, I probably post more about the Maniac. I find her hilariously funny sometimes.

Case in point:

Today we were driving to the grocery store. She asked to listen to the “Glee Project.” (First of all that’s funny..since obviously she’s seen the show courtesy of her big Gleeky sister.)  I think “One Love” was on and she is in her car seat pretending to cry.

She says: “I think I’m gonna cry.”

Me: “Why are you going to cry?”

She says: “Because I love this song.”

Seriously, what 3-year-old says that? It was hilarious all three times she said it.

So, I posted it on FB. I got a couple likes on it.

Then… out of the blue… the rudeness struck.

It pops up on my phone that my nephew’s grandmother (My brother-in-law’s baby-mama’s Mama) commented on my status (I replaced the names):

“U put the dumbs stuff y don’t u Put something about hubby’s daughter!!! its always about the Manaic u no there is a another kid in the house or did you for get??”

Yes lady, I forgot I have another kid. Are you effing kidding me? Who are you to me to even say such a thing? Um.. let me check… ahh… No one. Color you unfriended. Geez.

RUDE! RUDE! RUDE! RUDE! RUDE! RUDE!

So, I’m sure that my friends who had already liked that post got the notification that psycho lady was rude to me. Awesome.

I couldn’t delete it or unfriend her fast enough.  I don’t need that kind of crap or people  in my life.  I’m kind of torn about sending her a message telling her about herself.  But I think that would probably be moot. I hope she saw my new status update before I unfriended her.

“Why do people feel the need to put inappropriate and rude comments on stuff? Seriously uncalled for. You don’t like what I have to say, don’t read it or unfriend me.”

Okay that is all from my soap box. Please resume your regularly scheduled programming. haha!

 

“It was AWESOME!”

So, as I’m sure everyone knows, the final installment of the Harry Potter saga premiered in theatres.  My dear Teen is a big fan. She’s read all 7 books, which is more than I can say for myself. I read half of the first one and I was done.  When she moved in with us, she even had a “clope” (6-year-old for Cloak). 🙂

I promised her a long time ago that I would take her to the midnight showing for the last one… as long as the planets aligned properly and I had someone to watch the Maniac. Amazingly enough the planets aligned and my wonderful Hubby is actually home for the weekend.

I decided to not tell her we were going. Which, is a move I am famous for… and honestly, you’d think after all these years she’d catch on. She doesnt.

For the last week or so, I’ve been tormenting her with talk of Harry Potter. She’ll say “I can’t wait to see it!” I say.. “You only get to see it if I let you.”  Stuff like that.. It’s been far too much fun messing with her. And yesterday all she did was talk about the movie. And all we did was shoot her down, telling her she can’t see it until it comes out on DVD. We are so mean, I know.

As luck would have it, she even took a nap in the afternoon, so I didn’t have to spill the beans as early as I planned. I kept it up until the last-minute. We all stayed up late playing the Wii.. Hubby and I got into a 3 point contest on the basketball game.. I kept beating him and he didn’t like that one bit! haha!

A little before 11 I went upstairs to put different pants on.. which was of course when she caught on. I took the tickets and said, “Oh I found this on the floor.” As soon as she realized what they were, she starting jumping up and down! She was sooooooo excited! She didn’t stop talking the whole way there either!

Luckily, the theatre wasnt the zoo I was imagining it would be. I didn’t see any costumes.., just one chick in a Hogwarts scarf.  As far as midnight showings go, it was pretty mellow.

She watched the movie very intently.. clapping and cheering with the crowd. She loved every second. I enjoyed it too actually. Don’t tell her, but I cried a little. 😉 It was much faster paced than the rest of them. I always found the flow of the other movies annoying… you’d think it would end and it would keep going.. and you’d think it would end.. and it’s still going! This one kept my attention the whole time.

On the way home.. she said “That was AWESOME!” about 50 times… so I’m going to go out on a limb and say that she liked it. hahaha!

I’m glad I could make her day. Now she doesn’t know what to do with herself now that HP is finished.

I told her she could start reading Twilight.

Hope you are having a great weekend! I’m going to go get ready for my girls night out! I can’t wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

😀

 

This week- the highlights

I’ve been really bad about posting this week. I have sat down at least five times to write something and it just hasn’t really worked out. So, here are the high lights of this week:

Sunday- took the kids to the LA Zoo. It was HOTTTT and packed. But it was a fun day, even though  the elephants were never where we could actually see them. But I did see an Ocelot come out of hiding for probably the first time ever.

Monday- Took the kids to the beach with my Brother-in-law, Niece & nephew. Watched fireworks on the beach. It was a fun day.. even though I really really really missed my hubby. 😦

Tuesday- took the Maniac to the park. The Teen spent the night at my Brother-in-laws to hang out with my niece.

Wednesday- Went to the gym. rented some games. The Teen finally came home from playing with her Uncle and cousins.

Thursday- Spent not one, but TWO hours at the gym. The girls and I hung out and played Wii games..oh and I took a nap.

Today- spent 2 more hours at the gym! I’ve decided to kick it up a notch!  Started on the laundry. The Teen has her twin friends over.. she’s subjecting them to Glee.

I know.. it’s all pretty exciting. My wrist still hurts from my freak potty training accident on Saturday. I think I sprained it. It definitely feels better today though.

  Speaking of potty training…

It’s actually going fairly well I think. As long as she’s not wearing a pull-up she will just go pee when she needs to! She did ask to pee twice while we were at the Zoo, and she actually went! It was pretty cool.  And she asked this morning before I had taken her pull up off. And.. a couple of days ago she actually pooped on the potty! That was major progress!

Well.. that’s the highlights for now.

Hopefully, I’ll find a minute or two to post something more interesting later!