Welcome to my pity party.

So I’ve kinda been having a pity party for myself today.


I’ll tell you one thing, hubby leaving never gets any easier.  He was home for about 3 weeks, and dropping him off at the airport on Friday night was awful. I don’t know if I’ve ever really cried when doing that, but this time I had a really hard time keeping it together.

I know I am supposed to be excited that he’s working. I am. Another week of him not working and we would really really really be in trouble. Right now, I think we’re just really in trouble. I don’t know how much more of this I can  take.

I know, a lot of it is because our collective money handling skills suck.

I’ve been trying really hard to keep up afloat up the creek without a paddle.

So far, we’ve been managing. This I belive is the worst that its been.  Everytime I start to feel confident in the way things are headed… something happens or comes up to let it all come crashing down on me again.

Like I realized the other day- the truck registration is due in July and I have to pay for the Teen’s bus pass by August. Not to mention the bill from the State of california for some taxes.

If only we didn’t have to make either the truck payment or the health insurance premiums… If only.  The insurance goes up in July $87 a month. Then it will officially be more than the truck payment.


I really need to just stop thinking about it. It’s driving me crazy.

I want to pray for money. But that seems wrong. I have been praying a lot lately, for just some guidance through this whole mess.  To help me find the light at the end of the tunnel. To help me know that somehow this will all be okay.

Winning the lottery would be nice. Maybe a long-lost rich relative will leave us their fortune….or how ever people “come into money.”

On top of everything else,  I have to go to Vegas this weekend to pick the Teen up from camp. I really don’t have money for gas. I want to spend the weekend with my BFF. But no matter how much I try not to spend any money, we always seem to spend too much. And to make it worse, she doesn’t want me to bring the dog. If I don’t have gas money, I really don’t have money to board him, and I dont really have anyone to dog sit. It breaks my heart, because I really want to go.

Big Sigh.

The amazing part about today is that I have somehow managed to not just sit here and be sad and eat all day. That’s a positive right?  Maybe I would feel better if I had gone to the gym. I didn’t want to take the Maniac because she has a runny nose, so I’ll probably end up not going tomorrow either. 😦 

I imagine that you have left my pity party by now. I should probably find the exit too. 🙂

Thanks for listening to me vent, gripe, complain, whine.. or however else you might describe this post. 

May tomorrow be a better day.




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