Some mornings you catch the bus, some you don’t…

This morning I find myself contemplating my negativity.

Am I a negative person? Am I positive? Am I somewhere in between?

Here’s the problem…

My darling step daughter can be amazingly negative.  Once she decides she can’t do something, she won’t even try to do it. 

Case in point: This morning. I thought we left in time for the elusive Tuesday late start day bus.. that seems to just be coming earlier and earlier. We were about  3/4 of the way there when it pulled up to the stop. I was sure that it was the second bus.. since on Tuesdays we can’t even seem to catch either.

I told her that she better run to get it, since it was probably the second bus.

“I know I wont be able to make it.”

Which she basically just said over and over and over no matter what i said until the bus pulled away. UGH.

And the little mexican lady that sits in her front yard to watch for the bus for her granddaughter confirmed that  indeed that was bus #2. Double UGH.

Yes one time she tried to run to catch it and didn’t make it. One time.

Who says that she wasnt going to make it today? No one. She probably could have made it if she tried.

That’s  the thing that bothers me the most about her negativity… she won’t even TRY. GIve it a whirl!  Some days you catch the bus, some days you don’t. If you didn’t at least you know you did your best to catch it.

I would feel so much better about driving her to school if she tried to catch the bus and missed rather than her giving up and not even attempting to make it.

It drives me INSANE. And this isn’t the only time she does this. It happens with her homework A LOT.

Then on the way home from dropping her off at school, I started thinking…

Why is she like this? When did she decide she couldn’t even try? Is it me?

Am I that negative that I have instilled in her that its okay to give up before shes even tried at all?

How did we get here?

I spend the most time with her. It has to be me. …It has to be me.

So, I asked one of my best friends if I am negative.

She said : ” I think you can be a little negative. I don’t think you are completely negative, but sometimes you that’s where you automatically go.”

I’m interested in seeing how my husband answers that question.

I guess I really need to sit down and think about how I am negative, what makes me that way and how I can fix it.. and fix her at the same time.

So how do I switch polarity?


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