I just got off of the phone with my “Baby Mama.” (My step daughters mother) This is what i really would like to have said to her.
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Dear Baby Mama-
You havent talked to her in over a month. You said you’ve tried to call her and have left messages. I bet it never occurred to you that she didn’t WANT to talk to you. She didn’t. One time you called, she told me that “if you called my phone she didn’t feel like talking to you.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell you myself. If she wants to tell you that’s her decision.
I don’t want to hear your sob story about how horrible you life has been. Boo freaking hoo. We all have our problems. Even if your life is sooo terrible, you can still pick up the phone and call your daughter, write her a letter, send am email, (I see you on Facebook everyday) etc… I’m sure your paying for that cell phone- use it. She remembers when she lived with you, that her daddy called her EVERY DAY. Even when we moved her to live with us, it took you a week to call the first time.
I am tired of your “I feel so bad” and “I wish I could do more.”
You can do more, You choose not to.
I have told you and she has told you- she doesn’t want anything from you other than some attention. She wants to talk to you. she feels like she doesn’t even know you. (Oh wait, that’s because she doesn’t.) You make very little effort to know her.
She doesn’t want your boxes of crap. She already has stuff.
There are more things than I can remember that you have sent her that she’s never even opened or used. The look on her face one christmas, she must have been 8 or 9 maybe when her presents finally show up (a week late) and she was so excited and she opened it… and she looked at me confused and said “I think this is for you.” because it was something completely weird and not age appropriate. For me, it would have been fine- the 8-year-old. Not so much.
You tell me about your other daughters birthday. I saw on Facebook that you threw her a party. Hmm… I just got a big sob story about how you don’t have money to send her package but your throwing a party for the daughter that lives with you. Interesting.
It just makes me sad for her. Sad that at the ripe old age of 12, she knows that she can’t believe anything you say. That all the promises are empty.
A girl shouldnt have to know that at 12. Or ever for that matter. She’s supposed to trust her mother and be able to rely on her. And believe what she says.
Maybe you should work on that.
And quite honestly, it pisses me off. I don’t make excuses or sugar coat things for you either. I tell her how it is.
Sometimes I think she would be better off if you would just make up your mind- be in her life or don’t. Pick one. This on again off again nonsense is not healthy for her one bit, And if you really cared this wouldn’t even be an issue.
I could go on and on. I don’t think its worth the energy. Nothing is going to change anyway.
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Okay, I’m glad I got that off my chest. She irritates me so much. I wish I could say those things to her. It’s not really my place though. I know, in time my dear daughter will tell her whats what. She tried once, of course excuses were made and nothing changed. I don’t think she gets the fact the K sees through her excuses and her empty promises.
that’s all for now… I need to go finish cleaning for our company tonight! 🙂